Britains Got Talent 2010

Britains Got Talent 2010 Episode 5 Review

Episode 5 of Britain’s Got Talent 2010 aired on Saturday the 15th of May 2010. I’m a day late on posting the review this week as I got a new dog! Fear not, I’m back with my own thoughts on last nights performances. Episode 5 covered Cardiff, London and Manchester with the main focus on the Welsh Capital. So who was first up in the Millenium Centre? Marleen Hardy unfortunately. She came out looking a bit like a gypsy from that Jennifer Lopez video. She gave the judges gifts. Red devil horns for Simon, bunny ears for Amanda and a bow tie for Piers. She started singing and it was all down hill from there. The crowd were booing for her to get off the stage and all the judges buzzed her out. Simon told her she was funny but she couldn’t sing. After she left Amanda could be heard asking Simon how much for her soul? Simon told her he already owned it.

** I can’t believe I forgot the YouTube links for the videos!

Ryan O’Malley was on next and was also pretty terrible. He came on in a black and green hoody and didn’t look comfortable right from the start. His singing wasn’t much better and he was buzzed off early. He said he wanted to come on to sing for Wales and Swansea but didn’t get much of a chance.

Jamie Harding came on wearing a purple body suit which also covered his face making him look like one of the Blue Men Group from the Intel adverts. The music started he did some crazy demented dance which didn’t win much favour with the judges. He didn’t get through. Amanda Holden said it was like a bottle of Ribena being spilled on stage.

Then we had an amateur dramatic group called Pukka Productions. They looked like they were all dressed up for a fancy dress costume. There was five of them in total one princess, a guy dressed up like the 118 commercial and a leopard print girl. They barely got started and got voted off.

Retired dentist Alyn James came on claiming to have written hundreds of songs and was about to sing one of his own called ‘Can’t Catch Any Train On Time’. This was apparently about his friend who committed suicide. The weirdest part was not the song, but when he explained that she wasn’t actually dead. There was some mistake and she was alive. Simon Cowell suggested he changed the song to ‘She Caught The Train On Time’. Anyway, the performance was really depressing as you could imagine from the subject matter and Alyn James didn’t get through.

Josh Barry! Finally a glimmer of hope. I think this was still in Cardiff although with the Britain’s Got Talent dodgy editing I’m never sure where we are. You just see Amanda Holden’s dresses changing at random then you realise we’re not in Cardiff anymore. Back to Josh Barry, he was pretty good definitely one of the best so far. He sang my girl and looked pretty funky with his mohican and grey v neck Fred Perry sweater. I’m not sure about the underwear on show? His jeans were so low down his boxers were on full show so you could see the white boxers with red lipstick marks on them. His version of My Girl went down well with the audience and judges and he got through. He jumped down to thank the judges individually and gave the UK another flash of those white boxer shorts.

Back to London now (I think). Mystika were two belly dancers so we know they’re going to get through thanks to the make judging vote outnumbering the female two to one. Mystika are through to the next round. Julia Makarova got little air time and did that acrobatic thing with the bungee chord hanging down. You know the one I’m talking about I think it’s ribbon acrobatics? Julia Makarova is through with three yes votes.

Synergy Stunts were another dance troupe and got through just like the rest of them. I’m starting to think if I turned up four of my mates, we all dressed alike and put a ‘z’ in our name somewhere to show we’re down with the yoof we’ll get through. Synergy Stunts also got through.

That dance group was followed by, yes you’ve guessed it, another dance group. This time Glenn and Ashley, or Twist and Pulse as they like to be called, wanted to bring some Streetomedy to the stage. This is street dancing mixed with comedy if you’re interested or even cared. They did some jerky jokey dance routine broken up with the funny pieces of music including the Cheeky Girls and Eastenders. Yes I said Eastenders. There was actually two kids on stage in London doing a dance routine to Eastenders. The cheeky chappy routine worked and they got through with Ashley looking a bit emotional on stage. They actually got a standing ovation from the judges. One of the works in B&Q part time. I forget which one.

The Dead Fish Poet Society were perhaps my favourite act of the night purely because they were so bad. It consisted of a mother and daughter act where the mother reads a poem with the actions provided by her daughter dressed as a goldfish. They had to be kidding right? Well Maggie and Stephanie weren’t. Steph (the daughter) took her fish head off to complain that she didn’t get a chance to die on stage. Simon jumped in to say she had died on stage.

Mark James, a 30 year old ferry entertainment manager was up next. He came out dressed up like something from Phantom of the Opera and was quite cagey about his act when Ant and Dec asked him behind the stage. He said he was up all night making his costume with his mum which was a nice touch. Then he surprised everyone by taking off the robe and showing that he was half dressed like a man and half like a woman complete with blond wig and lipstick. Pretty weird. Then he started to sing a duet, half in a man’s voice then half in a woman’s voice. Simon hated it and buzzed him off right away and went on to say it was one of the worst acts of the year. The other two judges liked it however and Mark James got through. Before he left the stage he added that he has a lot more up his sleeve including a an impression of Ant and Dec and then started singing Let’s Get Ready to Rumble.

Just to cheer me up yet ANOTHER dance troupe came on this time from Rotherham. Nikki Lynham to talk about her group and how she’s coached and choreographed them. The group was called Ice and the started off with some R and B music then into some Black Eyed Peas and did the usual dance rubbish except with cane’s. They nearly hit Ant and Dec when they through them off to the side. Simon said he had a problem with them as they’re street dance had been choreographed by someone else. He had a point. He even went on to suggest that they should fire the coach Nikki Lynham in order to succeed. They resisted and Ice are through to the next round. Amanda Holden had a gorgeous purple dress on by this point!

Last but not least we had an accomplished impersonator in Paul Burling who had been making a living touring clubs and working on the holiday circuit. He told a story about the worst place he’d played which was in Kent where they canceled his booking. He started the routine off with an excellent impression of Harry Hill then went off to cartoon characters which covered Scooby Doo, Popeye, Bugs Bunny, Dick Dastardley and Mutley, Home Simpson  and Krusty the Clown. Paul Burling was another who got a standing ovation and three yes votes from the judges. Piers went on to say he was the best impressionist he’d seen on Britain’s Got Talent.

Britain’s Got Talent 2010 episode 6 is back next week!